You needn't linger across from Oriental’s Town Dock for very long to realize that you are among the World's Most Expert Dockers. Or at least the World’s Most Expert Docking Commentators.

Just as land-based pirates of old would salivate at the chance to lure a ship to crash on the rocks, the Porch Pirates’ pulse quickens when a captain nears his vessel to the Town Dock, or the adjacent marina. For the Porch Pirates of the Town Dock Yacht Club, a docking is not just a docking. It is an opportunity to analyze, do play-by-play, dissect and otherwise judge another boater’s docking abilities.

Opinionated though they are, as a group the Porch Pirates have been discreetly Southern and have not let the boaters know what they thought about their docking abilities.

Judges flash cards. From L-R Dave Mauney, Tim Balfour, Hans-Rudolf Landolt, Paul Mascaro, Charlie Garrett. Balfour (representing the UK) and Landolt (Swiss judge) happened to have been on the Town Dock at that moment but were swept up in the rush to judgment.

Until now.

An unnamed porch pirate returned from a Durham salvage store with some visual aids to make the judging more official. Wednesday morning, the Porch Pirates didn't wait for a boat to approach. So eager were they to break in the judges’ flashcards, that they rushed to the Town Dock to score a boat that was leaving from Oriental Marina.

The MV "Options" tardy fender removal may have cost it points. Meanwhile, Judge Hans-Rudolf Landolt (facing camera) of the SY Sea Fever at this point may have been reluctant to continue the judging as he himself was moments away from departing the Town Dock.

On Thursday morning The Judges began to refine their procedures. This time, they stayed on the Porch as they passed judgment on the docking of the unsuspecting Canadian sailboat, ‘Eriskay’ John and Barb McCallum, of Midland, Ontario were caught off guard as they pulled up to the Town Dock.

"Two guys helped with our lines and we thought, ‘This is really a friendly town.’", said John. But then, they looked across Hodges Street at The Porch, "That’s when we saw all the cards. " He laughed. "That was beautiful."

Which isn’t to say they were entirely happy with their score.

Barb and John McCallum of Midland , Ontario at the Town Dock, looking for another set of judges to cut them some slack. Barb wonders if they could do better at "artistic interpretation".

|"Can we go out and try it again?" Barb asked. With last winter’s Olympic skating scandal still a fresh memory, it was only natural that the Canadians’ were suspicious about one judge’s score of "I". As Barb put it, "We were looking for the French judge."

The Canadian visitors quickly deduced a more benign explanation for why they didn’t get a lot of "9" and "10"s. "I think they don’t have many numbers" said John. And it was true.

Fine Tuning The Judging

The judges were learning from their Beta testing. More numbers were found -- and still more being laminated at a Bayboro sign shop -- to allow for more flexibility in scoring. On Saturday morning that allowed more judges to weigh in.

Getting Judgmental. More judges join the ranks Saturday.

On Saturday they hoisted the cards as Bob Gregory departed the Town Dock on his Westsail32, Brer Rabbit.

Brer Rabbit, a Westsail32 out of Savannah, departs after backing out of the Town Dock Saturday morning. Judges may have awarded it some points for bravely heading out in to the fog.

Meanwhile, the crew of Eriskay appeared to have developed a strategy for their departure. Whether coincidence or not, the Canadians who had been judged on their arrival put off their departure until mid-morning Saturday --- after the Porch Pirates had put their cards away for the day.

John McCullum told TownDock.net that he thought word of the judges in Oriental was going to travel on the Waterway , "That may make people nervous about their docking when they come here. Which may only hurt their scores more."

On the other hand, they may be amused as he was, noting that the Porch Pirates with their flash cards were just more up front about the judgments that go on at slips and docks on the ICW – and everywhere – whenever someone tries to bring in a boat.

In Oriental, along with the judges, chances are there’ll also be someone to help you with your lines at the Town Dock too.

The Porch Pirates meanwhile continue to refine their judging . Ten sets of numbers have been put in place at The Bean porch, and a system of points for technical merit and artistic interpretation is being devised. TownDock.net will publish those criteria as a public service to incoming boaters who wish to score higher with the judges.